Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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