we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
