So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
