her vagine was all disorganized.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
