Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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