Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
