Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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