Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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