This is not my ceiling
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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