oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
