I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Randomize
