Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Randomize