I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize