mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Less talking, more tequila
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
