I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
