Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
