i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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