maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
