I think I am morally bankrupt
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
