they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
