Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Randomize
