i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
