please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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