you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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