i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
