she woke up with a sticky ear
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
