you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize