Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
