It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
