Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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