WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize