This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
