Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
