sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
