i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize