Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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