Hey man sorry I got all grabby
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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