Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
