this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
