im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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