we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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