Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
