uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
