..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize