Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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