did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize