I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
