Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
