Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
God I need to hump something, right now.
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