After last night, I could never be a politician.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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