I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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