there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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