I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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