I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I could make wine with my vomit
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
