I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
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