We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
