My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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