Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
