We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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