how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
